Full of Gratitude

I can’t share or express enough gratitude I have today. It has been just over nine months now since my first attack with NMO. Back in May and June while I was in the hospital, I had no idea where my life would be at this time of my life. The doctors who saw me had complete faith in me that I was going to get back to where I used to be, but they had no promises. During my stay, I was told it could take months to years to fully recover from going numb from my chest down. It was terrifying to think of what my life could be like without being able to walk, drive, play sports, or any other thing that required walking. Today, like every day, I am truly blessed and grateful to be where I am. As time moves on, I feel more gratitude for the baby steps I see each day.

Now let me tell you this. Nine months ago I could not walk without having someone hold me up. Today, I can golf an entire round, I can run a mile under 8 minutes (I barely accomplished that this morning!), I can play ultimate frisbee, soccer, basketball, and I can dance! Whoop! I am so happy to be doing these things and for having them be a part of my life! The best part about it too is that I have not even had a leg spasm in months while doing these things!! I was worried coming back into everything that my body was not going to appreciate all the hard work I was doing….but it has been handling it well! I strength train with my team four times a week, and I run about 3-4 times a week! Who couldn’t say this was miracle?!

I also want to share about yesterday and my testimony. Yesterday was a beautiful fast and testimony meeting. A lot of people shared many things that have been on my mind. The gospel of Jesus Christ is so beautiful. I love my Savior so much, and I know He loves me more than I can comprehend because I can’t even believe how much He has already blessed me with. I’m grateful that He perfectly understands me and that He knows what is best for me right now. He is my everything. I sometimes get stuck in the moments of life, but by the end of the day, I can always reflect back and thank my Heavenly Father for being where I am today. I’m so grateful for so many little things He has given me. To run. To see. To serve. To study. Everything. I have been given the best of friends in my life that I can always count on, and a family who is always so concerned for me. I feel so much love in my life. Jesus Christ loves us so much!

Last thing...last week, my mom and I flew to L.A. for the NMO patient day. What an incredible experience it was. I had the opportunity to learn so much and hear other people’s stories who deal with what I have. I mentioned in my first post that NMO is an extremely rare autoimmune disease. Currently, it’s incurable. They can try to treat the symptoms and they can do things to help try and prevent attacks, but it’s not fully curable yet. Doctors are doing what they can to find a curable vaccine, while also trying to find a way to remyelinate the damage that has been done to people’s bodies who have been affected by this condition. The cool thing is, if we can find a cure for this, most other autoimmune diseases are going to be able to be cured. I can’t even say how incredible and neat that would be! I am a part of the group that is so determined to find a cure to save millions of people suffering with all sorts of things! I hope to be a voice in this cause to help NMO be more spread because this will help us find a cure. We need all the support we can. We need more people aware of this. I must also say though, it’s hard to be fully open about this. There are many people involved in my life and people I’m surrounded by who have no idea that this is a part of me. I want people to love me for who I am, and not look at me and think of me by my condition. I want people to see me for who I truly am even if NMO is a part of my life. But, I also want people to learn and grow from what I have experienced...because I never could have comprehended what has happened to me until it actually happened to me. I have learned so much. As Elder Bednar put it in the last October General Conference, “Physical restrictions can expand vision. Limited stamina can clarify priorities. Inability to do many things can direct focus to a few things of greatest importance.” I feel like I can completely relate to this. Losing the ability to walk has changed my perspective for everyday I live. We all are fighting our battles, and this is something I’m fighting everyday. Keep on fighting your battles and so will I.